A major source of anxiety about the future of the family is rooted not so much in reality as in the tension between the idealized expectation in the culture and the reality itself. Nostalgia for a lost family tradition, which, in fact, never existed, has prejudiced our understanding of the conditions of families in contemporary society. Thus, the current .anxiety over the fate of the family reflects not only problems in the family but also a variety of fears about other social problems that are eventually projected onto the family.

　　The real problem facing American families today are not symptoms of breakdown as is often suggested; rather, they reflect the difficulties of adaptation to recent social changes, particularly to the loss of diversity in household membership, to the reduction of the variety of family functions and, to some extent, to the weakening of the family adaptability. The idealization of the family as a refuge from the world and the myth that the work of mothers is harmful has added considerable strain. The continuous emphasis on the family as a universal private retreat and as an emotional haven is misguided in light of historical experience.

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　　人们对家庭的未来感到忧心忡忡，其根本原因不在于现实，而在于对文化的理想化期望与现实本身的冲突。由于怀念失落的家庭传统，我们在理解现代家庭状况时常存在着偏见，而实际上，这种家庭传统从未存在过。当前人们对家庭命运的担忧不仅仅反映出了家庭的问题，由于社会问题常常投射到家庭中，这种担忧也反映了人们对其他社会问题的种种忧虑。现在美国家庭面临的真正问题不是人们所常说的家庭崩溃的征兆，而是反映出美国家庭难以适应最近的社会变化，尤其是难以适应家庭规模缩小、家庭职能减少以及家庭适应能力越来越弱的现实。把家庭理想化为远离世界的避难所，或者错误地认为母亲工作对于家庭不利，使家庭承受了更大的压力。从过去的经验来看，一直强调家庭是个人和情感的避风港是有失偏颇的。