Moving in together is a huge step for any couple. While the guy might worry his Xbox will be replaced with a stack of Oprah magazines, we’re stressing about losing all of our privacy. It’s not that we don’t want to spend every single waking moment together — it’s more like we don’t want you to realize that we have flaws, quirks, and normal body functions.
同居是两人关系迈入新台阶的重要标志，男生害怕Xbox被时尚杂志替代，我们女生也担心隐私被挖掘。也不是我们不想时时刻刻都跟你一起共度，应该说是，我们不想让你看到我们也有缺点、怪癖、唔……还有正常的生理功能。
1. Eat messy foods
A good date centers around good food, great conversation, and fantastic foreplay under the table. We don’t want to ruin the mood by slurping up spaghetti, gnawing on a piece of sushi, or stabbing ourselves in the eye with a tricky kabab stick. Save us some trouble by picking a place with bite-sized sauce-free food like carrots or ice shavings.
1. 马虎就餐
美食，愉快的对话和桌底下的动作对一场完美的约会来说缺一不可；我们不希望看到猛嚼意大利面，一口吃不下一块寿司或被羊肉串戳到自个儿，所以下次约会嘛，记得挑一家适合小口吃东西的餐馆哦！
2. Have Gas
It’s clinically proven that gas is the fastest killer of a romantic night. Couples instantly go from being wrapped around each other naked to sleeping on opposite ends of the bed wearing nightgowns over flannel pajamas. Please do us a huge favor by letting us blame any unexplainable noises and lingering smells on the dog — even if you don’t have a dog.
2. 公开放屁
临床医学证明，一个不请自来的屁是破坏浪漫夜晚的最快杀手！当男女穿好睡衣和法兰绒起居裤，含情脉脉时突然想起一个不该出来的声音时，作为男生你一定要接受“这是我家养的小狗恶作剧”这样的烂解释——即使我家根本就没养狗。
3. Facebook Stalk
Some women use Facebook to stay in touch with friends, as well as to see who gained the most weight since high school. Other women use it to legally stalk ex-boyfriends, one-time hook-ups, and crushes. We fully acknowledge that we’re absolutely batshit insane, yet we have trouble stopping ourselves from completing our daily ritual. Help us not embarrass ourselves by lying to us and saying you don’t have the internet because you don’t believe in using it — and for your own sake, never let us know you have Facebook.
3. 上Facebook
很多女生都通过Facebook和朋友保持联系，当然也是借此了解毕业后自己是不是还有人记得。不过还有一些女生用它来联系一下前男友啦，搞搞419 （for one night）啦，或是耍点小暧昧。我们完全承认这是不对的！但是……唉，我们就是停不下来嘛！男生，这时候你就撒点儿谎、迁就我们一下。还有哦，为了你自己好，千万别告诉我们你也玩FB。
4. Working Out
The gym is a great place for us to lose weight, stay in shape, and compare ourselves to fatter women. However, unless we’re only taking power yoga classes, it’s not a great place to run into someone we like. We’re worried that you’ll be completely focused on our sweaty head bands, red faces, and our manly gym attire. A great way to make us feel better if you run into us at the gym is to focus on the work-out. Instead of noticing our gym attire, try saying something nice like “wow you’ve lost more weight than the office could have ever imagined.”
4.锻炼
健身馆是我们减肥、塑形、看胖妞们以增强自信心的好地方。但尽管如此，除非我们是去参加瑜伽课，其他在健身馆的时间还是不要被你看到为妙。我们会担心你们只注意到我们被汗水浸透的头巾、涨红的脸蛋和超男性化的运动衫。所以呢，如果不小心在健身房撞到我们，你最好能忽略我们的运动衫，说一句：“哇！你最近瘦了很多嘛！办公室里还不太看得出来呢。” |
