目光的接触是衡量两个谈话人之间关系亲密程度的一个标准，尽管在不同的民族文化中对目光接触的意义有所不同。例如，在中东，如果一位妇女惹得一个男子的注目，就被认为是带有极端的调逗调情的性质，更不用说回眸再去凝视那个男人了。社会心理学家迈克·阿吉尔觉察到对方的次数和时间，要比两个互相冷漠甚至敌视的人互相看对方的次数和时间要多。听讲话的人若是凝视讲话的人的时间越长，越有可能是，听讲话的人对讲话的人本人的举止大过于对他所讲的真正的话题的兴趣。低头往下看通常都表示顺从或不好意思。反复地扭转头看别处可以表达厌烦或不喜欢。妇女比男人更喜欢用目光接触，特别是在和另外一些妇女谈话时更是这样。
But too steady eye contact can make one feel uneasy at times. Most people become uncomfortable under the intense gaze of a stare. One scientist suggests that perhaps one reason that man becomes tense under the force of a stare is in his biological ancestors: in apes, a stare signifies aggressiveness and hostility. The person who insistently fixes his eyes on our face is often more successful in arousing our dislike than impressing us with his directness and sincerity.
但有时死死地盯着看人，会使人感到不安。被人家盯着看，这会使大多数人感到不舒服。某一位科学家说，人类受到使劲地盯视时会感到紧张，这其中的原因之一就在人类的生活学上的始祖身上：在类人猿中间，瞪着眼睛盯着看，就意味着要侵犯和要敌对。一个人若是用他的两只眼睛始终不停地直直地看着我们的脸，这样做不但不会给我们留下这个人很直率很真诚的印象，反而会引起我们的反感。
Similarly, the smile cannot always be interpreted as a sign of friendliness. The person who smiles almost constantly and with little apparent reason makes us uneasy. Even though he may believe that he is expressing friendliness, he may really seem nervous and tense. In other animals, bared teeth are a warning gesture, a danger sign.
同样道理，微笑也并不能总是解释为友好的表示。如果一个人老是朝着我们微笑，又没有明显的理由，就会使我们感到不安。即使这个人自己认为他是在向你表示友好，很可能让人觉得那人很紧张很不自然。在其他动物中间，呲牙是警告的姿势，是一种危险的信号。
Genuine warmth or interest can be revealed in the eyes, suggests Dr. Eckhard Hess of the University of Chicago, who believes that the pupils of the eyes can indicate emotion or interest. The opened pupil tends to be associated with pleasant, satisfying experiences. That special sparkle in the lover's eyes need not be fantasy, for love may make the pupil grow larger. Sometimes when we feel that a person is "warm" or "friendly", it is possible we are reacting to a form of non-verbal communication - his opened pupils.
真正的热情和兴趣可以从眼神当中表现出来，这是芝加哥埃克哈特·赫斯博士提出来的。他认为眼睛的瞳孔可以表达感情和兴趣。瞳孔扩张一般总是与愉快的令人满意的经历有关。情人眼神中闪现出的神采不一定就是你的幻觉，因为爱情可以使瞳孔扩大。有时我们觉得某人"热情"、"友好"，这很可能是我们对他所用的非语言文字的交际形式作出了反应--他的瞳孔扩大了。
The next time you are at a party, take note of some of the silent messages being sent around you. Notice which persons seem to draw naturally together to speak, which others try to stay further apart or even avoid meeting each other's eyes. You may find that this silent language is much more fascinating than the actual conversation going on around you.
