标题:Most people have dreams of one day becoming rich. But does the average person have ability to make a lot of money? Think about this question. Then write about 250 words describing your thoughts.

参考分数：5.5分

总体点评：本文对考题的回应出现了偏差，没有明确地回答“普通人是否有机会致富”的问题，而是在论述致富的两个条件，而且文章结论段的设问句也感觉有些不伦不类，不像是议论文而更像散文，这严重地影响了本文的分数，建议作者加强审题方面的练习；文章的条理比较清晰，可以看到作者的观点逐步的展开，但是第二三两段有部分内容感觉偏离了段落的主题；因此虽然作者的段落分配比较合乎逻辑但是有些段落内容显得凌乱；文章中存在大量的语法和单词选择，单词形式方面的错误，虽然没有影响读者的理解，但是数量过多也影响本文的成绩；

详细批改：

Dreaming of money is a common pastime that many people have. In Canada, particularly, the average person have has to devote a large number amount of time and energies in order to earn money. In my point of view, whether the normal people like us can or can not cannot make money really depends on two aspects. (开头段有些离题，原题问的是普通人是否能够致富而不是是否能够挣钱)

To begin with, the money one’s earn one earns depends on he/her’s his or her talents. The middle class, who do not have money or huge influential family background, have to rely on their intelligences and endowments to raise money. The talents does not relate to IQ,（这个句子和段落主题无关最好不写） it is natural gift that one owns when he/she is first born, for . For(两个句子之间应该用句号而不是逗号连接) example, many people with special gift can learn music or drawing very fast quickly, and (两个动词间应该用连词)also become rich and famous. Discovering the talents and using them are effective ways to earn money.

Additionally, the amount of money one earns also relates to the effort the he/she is willing to make. In the contemporary society, high salary is closely relying (be 动词后不能有动词原型)  on the high job position in which people are required to accept the good education. People have to pay attentions to study in order to meet the requirement. For instance, a doctor makes over 100 dollars per hour but they need to put a lots lot of efforts for at least 4 years in post secondary school and 3 years in medical school. In a word, people’s wealth and social standard really depends on their endeavors. 

In conclusion, one’s natural talents and acquired efforts are the keys which lead to the wealth, especially for those middle classes. However, we can not cannot choose our the natural talents that we are born with, but why can not cannot we start trying hard now to fight for a bright future?（最后一段还是没有找到直接回答考题的问题的句子）