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2012年同等学力考试英语作文批改(3)

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My View on Reform of Medical Care in China
      
With the rapid development of modern society, an increasing number of people are concerned about the issue of reform of medical care in China. At present, most people argue that medical care is too high and it is difficult for persons to go to the doctor.
     
In my opinion, some driving reasons that lead to the above mentioned problem can be illustrated as follows. To begin with, the best doctor in China work in a few big city .what's more, patients like going to the big city to go to the best doctor .At last, the level of people's life in Chain is lower in modern society and the persons cannot affort to give medical care.
     
Based on what has been discussed above, it follows that some solutions should be found to solve the problem of reform of medical care .On the one hand, the level of people' life is promoted as fast as possible by the government .On the other hand, the government is bound to develop more doctors .Only in these ways can we improve development of reform of medical care in China.

  老师评语:得分5-6分

  你没有理解清楚写作的要求。该写作任务是,发现现在的医疗问题,找出原因,给出医疗改革的建议,但是你却在论述,医疗改革的问题及如何改进。

  同时,根据你前后文语言表达的情况,英语基本功比较薄弱,前面使用了模板句式,后面自由发挥中就出现了比较多的语言错误。

  建议在今后的学习中,从英语基础抓起,同时注意积累地道的语言表达以及观点论述方法。

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