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2012年同等学力考试英语作文批改(9)

www.zige365.com 2011-11-25 15:15:42 点击:发送给好友 和学友门交流一下 收藏到我的会员中心
My View on Reform of Medical Care in China

  There is no denying the fact that high cost of medicines and medical treatment with hardly are serious problems in China is confronted. In many places, seeing a doctor is very difficult for people because the medicines fee is expensive.
     
A number of factors account for the problem, but the following are the most critical ones. In the first place, medical and health resources are insufficient in China. The poverty region has only a few hospitals can not reach people’s needs. In the second place, many people can not afford to medical fee because China’s medical insurance lever is too low.
     
In my opinion, the government must attach great importance to developing reform of medical care. First, it is essential that pertinent laws and regulations be worked out and enforced to ban medical treatment with excessive. For example, a person catching a cold, the American doctors will not prescribe the medicine, but many the Chinese doctors will open much fee of medicine. Secondly, the government should increase the number of health resources to accelerate the personnel training that narrow the gap between urban and rural

  老师评语:得分7-9分

  该文的结构比较清晰,主题的阐释也较为明了。可以比较正确的使用经典句型。

  缺点是:

  1. 对句子结构掌握的不是很好。

  2. 有部分词汇误用、搭配不合理等现象。

  3. 内容不够充实。

  总体上说,你需要补充一些句法以及词语使用的知识,并且多看一些范文,学习论点阐释的方法。希望你再接再厉!

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