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2012年同等学力考试英语作文批改(11)

www.zige365.com 2011-12-3 18:43:49 点击:发送给好友 和学友门交流一下 收藏到我的会员中心
There is no denying the fact that medical problem is a grave problem with which we are confronted. Take a look around, we can find the notable instance which is the high cost of health care and the difficulty in getting medical service. In fact, majority of patients feel that they are dissatisfied to the medical service in China.

  A number of factors account for the problem, but the leading reason might be poor supervison and medical care input deficiency in china. the shortage of medical resources. On the one hand, the artificially high drug prices result in the high cost of health care .Improve the doctor's moral qualities .on the another hand ,the difficulty in getting medical service resut from the shortage of medical resources.

  In view of the seriousness of these problems, effective measures must be taken. First, it is essential that we should strengthen government supervison and improve the doctor's moral qualitie. Secondly, it is suggested that the governmemt should increase its investment to alleviate the  the shortage of medical resources  .With these measures taken, it is reasonable for us to believe that the problem will be solved in the near future.

  老师评语:得分9-10分

  该文章的结构比较清晰,在论述主题时,思路比较清晰。可以比较正确的使用连接词、各种长短句的变化。

  缺点是:

  1. 有个别词语用的不是很准确。

  2. 有个别句子结构不完整,会让老师对其他比较地道的表达产生怀疑,是否为背诵的模板句?

  3. 单词拼写错误。

  不过,总体来说 ,你的作文还是比较不错的。再接再厉!

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